As an introvert, I can attest to the fact that there are some challenges that not only I have faced but also in my relationships over the years. It took me years to learn how to function in ways that allowed me to be the best version of myself around others and a huge part of that was learning how to use my “introverted-ness” as a strength.
Being an introvert simply means that you get your energy from being by yourself, while an extrovert gets their energy from being around others. A lot of times the words introvert and shy are used synonymously, but introverts are not necessarily shy. While I was shy growing up, that was probably more of a confidence issue as opposed to being an introvert issue. The challenge with being an introvert is that a lot of life happens around other people. We go to school with others, work with others, get married, have children, have families, have friendships which all include being around other people. Introverts still need relationship with others! In fact, introverts truly love and value relationships. However, they still need that time to themselves as a source of energy.
It has been a challenge for me because I am always around family and while I love them, it can be very draining if I don’t take time for myself. The consequence of being drained is that I can be very short tempered and irritable. I really am not the best version of myself and that is not how I want to show up for my family!
There are really 3 things that you can do as an introvert (or as a loved on of an introvert) to help ensure that you don’t start running on an empty tank.
- Identify the types of situations that drain you. When do you feel the most drained? What situations can you handle regularly? What situations do you need more time to recover from?
- Identify the activities or situations that give you the most energy. What are you doing? How long do you need to feel fueled? Are there different things that work better depending on how drained you are?
- Plan ahead when you can! If you know that there is an activity coming up that may be draining for you, make sure you also plan some down time for recovery. Sometimes it may be beneficial to plan some introvert time before and after the activity if time allows.
Make sure you share this with your family. If you have family members who are extroverted, they may not realize what you need in order to keep up. It can be helpful for them to also be aware of what works for you, so that they can support you. If they aren’t aware, then they may misunderstand your need to be alone. I think communication is key because the last thing you want is to hurt anyone’s feelings. Finding time to refuel your tank can really do wonders for all of your relationships. It is a great thing to find ways to take care of you so you can show up for others!